Felt like something the cat dragged in when I woke up this morning. Husband took child to school – couldn’t face that. Tried to analyse last week. Backtracked ten days. It all started with a feeling of euphoria, which has its own problems and you ask yourself ‘why do I feel like this, this is not me?’ This was followed by feelings of anxiety. Then the glands kicked in, then the migraine, closely followed by the body deciding that ‘it’s time to menstruate’ – back ache, belly ache, muscle ache. Took me till lunchtime today to feel as if I was back on this planet.
They say that part of menopause is mourning a death – the death of the womb. This is too profound a thought for a lot of people. It certainly never crossed my mind. The symptoms I have been experiencing are so strong, it leaves no room to even consider grief. I did not even grieve the recent death of my 84-year-old father (that’s a totally random association, isn’t it?). I think if I gave in to grief, I wouldn’t stop crying for months.