The national, even global, stats on divorce when women are going through menopause, are practically non-existent but I came across some life jolting stories while researching. This is what one woman said about her potential for re-marriage, she’s still young being in her forties:
“When Peter and I were in mediation discussing alimony, he brought up remarriage ending my alimony and the mediator and I just sort of exchanged a look. If Peter and Stacie break up, he just gets himself a girlfriend aged eighteen and up who appreciates a guy with a six-figure income and lots of kid-free time. I’m in my forties, have primary custody of my kids, and one of them is a special-needs child. The odds of me marrying again are (as my Granny would have said) “Slim to none – and Slim left town.”
I’m OK with that, really. I don’t need to be married again, but I do want to be in relationship with someone other than Netflix. *sigh* Maybe I am jaded. But I’m stopping short of bitter. It’s not easy.” From Woma’s Day, Australia http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/divorce-diaries/statistics-are-depressing-things
Just consider these statistics:
- In the past 20 years, the divorce rate among baby boomers has surged more than 50%
- About a third of adults ages 46 through 64 were divorced, separated or had never been married in 2010 compared with 13% in 1970
- A quarter of all divorces are by couples wed twenty years or more
- A 2004 AARP study found that 66% of divorce filings were made by wives, according to The Berkeley Daily Planet, “Midlife women are sometimes in a better financial situation than their mothers and grandmothers were. In previous generations they might have stayed in marriage because of possible financial, religious or social repercussions.”
This article then went on to draw conclusions from the following:
“Ehow.com gave an extensive list of reasons concerning why older couples get divorces. These reasons included: empty nest, midlife crisis, illness and Medicaid eligibility. Empty nest is a significant factor, because couples who get married young and start a family right away often do not realize how much they as a couple have grown apart until the children grow up, leave the house and they no longer have a common, unifying goal (rearing the children).” The article had been written by John Clayton Zinda, a car / auto accident lawyer: http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/middle-aged-and-elderly-divorce-rates-rising
It’s hardly surprising, is it, that articles not created by women have a completely different slant on the stats are presented. I’m not saying that couples don’t grow apart, they do but all things considered, menopause isn’t one of them.
My take on these stats is that menopause got in the way of most of the women quoted above and neither they nor their husbands even considered that as an option to perhaps getting a different kind of therapy or advice from anyone familiar with the trait and there aren’t too many of those around.