Sex and The Menopause - a frank discussion on BBC Radio Kent

Julia George And Kathryn Colas

Sex And The Menopause – Can You Really Live Happily Without Sex

This question was the discussion I had with Julia George at BBC Radio Kent. If this is something affecting you right now, then listen in. A lot of valuable information about sex snd the menopause came out of this, including sad and happy stories from listeners – one chap who was beside himself with wondering what to do because there was no love in his relationship and his wife didn’t want to discuss; another lady was single and celibate and, of course, my own story where menopause played havoc, I lost my libido and we nearly divorced. All this, and more in this broadcast. Do listen!

Some professional bods contributed excellently to the discussion, we had Dr Pippa Brough a sexual psychologist, Prof Jeff Hacket who was on the original (UK) research team for the product Addyi (pronounced Addie) which was recently approved in the US by their FDA. He was disappointed it hasn’t got NICE approval yet. The other interesting contributor was Julia Bennett a marriage counsellor offering excellent advice.

But let’s cut to the chase, this programme was initiated by the approval of Addyi for women and the media (who else!) have called it the female Viagra, even though it’s taken every day whereas Viagra is taken on demand. Addyi seem to be more like an anti-depressant than anything else but, hey, if it works for you…


But, never mind how much sex a woman has, wants or doesn’t want, sexual ‘desire’ can disappear at menopause – you know those feelings you get when you really fancy sex, or feel desire towards someone – when those feelings cease to happen, it can cause real trauma to any relationship, as you will hear in this recording.


Again it’s about your doctor engaging in a proper conversation about medical history, including reproductive history and the choices available to you.


When it comes to choice, apparently there are more than 26 products for male erectile dysfunction – Men, in general, don’t seem to have a problem with ‘desire’ it’s just that the thought process of desire is not transferring to the relative member part of the anatomy. And, not that loss of libido for women bears any relation to erectile dysfunction but one way or the other, somebody ain’t gettin’ it!!
On top of this, research shows that Addyi works for between 9% – 15% of women affected by Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) which refers to a woman’s chronic or ongoing lack of interest in sex, to the point that it causes her personal distress or problems in her relationships.


Faced with loss of libido at menopause (which you may never get back, without treatment) or HSDD – what would you do? What action would you take? Let us know.  Also if you are being affected in any way by sex and the menopause, we’d love to hear from you – just pop something in the comments, or if you want to contact me privately then the details are on the contact page.


Here’s the link to the BBC Radio Kent discussion – Move the cursor on by 1hr:23min – that’s where it starts. Listen Here